I’m discovering that, though I thought I was over it, I continue to have unabashedly “fangirl”-esque moments. I thought I was over this, but I guess that I’m wrong. Oh well. Every now and then I’m allowed to be crazy, amidst all this trying to be mature. Heck, I’m 21. Maturity might have to wait.
Disclaimer: please do not watch this video if you are offended by strong language.
On to the video. This song is just … well, watch it. I’d say that’s how I’ve been feeling lately, albeit for different reasons.
In an appropriate addendum to this post, Mark Morford of the SFGate/the Chronicle has written a piece on the word f**k. Appropriate, indeed.
It’s days like these when I wonder if I have the heart, the drive, or the stamina to finish this out. To succeed. To not just be “so close and yet so far.” (Sorry Frankie Valli!) I want to be in the home stretch, but I’m scared. Just needed to put this idea somewhere. Maybe it’ll light that desperate flame.
tony talk June 10, 2007
I should have better things to do, but I’m watching the Tonys. I caught the lead-up, but I have to wait for the rest because I’m on PDT tape delay. Bother.
Spring Awakening and Coast of Utopia took home the greatest amount of Tonys for musical and play, respectively. The show took a risk this year by having no host, but the only thing that could have made it better is Hugh Jackman. I love that guy. I also love the cast of Spring Awakening. They’re a huge inspiration, and they deserved all the accolades they received. They probably deserved even more, too, particularly because theirs is a group effort with an amazing ensemble. This only solidifies my desire/need to go to NYC, stat.
First, however, I need to finish this paper that plagues me so. See what I mean about the doom?
doom? sure! June 9, 2007
Quick update: I need to finish this paper; I am obsessed with Spring Awakening; I need to study; I want to go to New York; I am considering a grad school in Political Science/International Relations; I want to move to NYC; I am excited for this summer; I need to stop doing this and get back to what I need to do.
I have a thing for impending doom. I have no better words.
Ohhh … but my roommates are teaching me how to ride a bike! (No, I don’t really know how yet, but I’m getting the hang of it. Next up, driving a car! I can’t do that either.)
i don’t remember growing older June 5, 2007
It’s the strangest thing, realizing that I’m 3 years out of high school. Even stranger that it’s been 7 years since I was in middle/grammar school. That’s a third of my lifetime away. I faintly remember think that it would be unfathomable to be in college, to be doing something with my life, yet, now, I feel as lost as I felt then. Some things change, and some things don’t, I suppose.
This heady reminiscence would not be complete without photos, so, naturally, those have gone up on my flickr account. I have photos that span from senior year of high school to now. If I wanted to, I suppose they could even go back further. In these “old” photos, I see myself three years back, and I see a girl who had no idea what the future held for her. I could never have imagined then what I would be like now, and I’m glad that I never could. The journey wouldn’t have been as challenging, interesting, or enlightening, and I know there would always have been something I would have wanted to change. There will always be those nitpicky things about my past that I wish I could go back and fix … but that’s my past, after all.
I remember vaguely when that photo was taken. We slept over at my friend’s house the night of prom, and we laid the dresses out on the bed because we didn’t want to wrinkle them. The picture is actually a recreation, because someone slept in the bed. However, that photo holds good memories for me. I sometimes wonder how people from high school turned out, how much we’ve grown, changed, and morphed into the people we are today. I probably wouldn’t have predicted how we’ve turned out. I don’t even know the people some of my friends have become.
I suppose that makes it interesting, that we’re going to try to have dinner for the half-week or so that I’m back home. I’m trying to catch up with people through journals, but I know that I’m not very much in touch nowadays. I suppose that when I see them, I’ll know. I hope we’ll bring back the good memories and make some new ones. I hope that this time, maybe, we stay in touch so that we can see each other grow.