And a … boat.
confessional September 9, 2007
- I am terrified of growing up.
- I am 21, and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.
- I am a self-diagnosed commitment-phobic.
- I wear my heart on my sleeve … sometimes with less than ideal results.
- I barely cry anymore, but when I was in grammar school, it was second nature.
- I want to travel the world.
- I love my family more than anything, but when my parents are around, my sister and I fight like nobody’s business.
- I don’t read my textbooks during the year, but when summer comes around, I read like crazy.
- I still can’t get over my perfectionist tendencies after all these years.
- I have a thyroid condition, and I hate taking pills three times a day.
- I tend to bottle things up inside because I don’t think anyone else will get it.
- I miss my friends.
for the record September 7, 2007
The “i” Generation
Signatures (Things Noticed)
Grad School Search
a year gone September 4, 2007
I can’t believe that it has already been a year since I studied abroad in Rome (a Roma). Thinking about it brings back all those feelings, the growing up I faced, all on my own. There was nobody else to guide me, to take me step by step to the finish line. I was on my own. I feel that, in those four months I spent in Europe, I grew up more than I had in the past 20 or so years of my existence. It was time. Nobody else had stopped me before, from getting where I needed to be — I just wasn’t ready yet. Europe was a test, and I think I passed. I slept in a tunnel in Venice, rode on the back of a moped in Rome, explored Florence alone, froze my tail off in Budapest, and experienced snow in Berlin. I got a tasted for wanderlust, and now I can’t just give that up. I don’t want to stop moving now. I want to see the world, and I will. (It’s just going to take a while to earn enough money. Ew.)
I just sent SMS’s to friends abroad. I think it’s the least I can do. I mean, after all, I was a lonely kid in Italy. (I often ate alone and rarely went out. Blame it on my unwillingness to compromise myself or risk wearing heels on Italian cobblestones.) I mean, every country must be experienced its own way, but every now and then, it’s nice to know that someone from home loves you and is thinking about you. When abroad, I don’t think I expected the world, but the little things, the sweet things (like gelato! ;)) were what stuck out in my mind. Things fade, but the knowledge that someone cares for you stays with you.
In essence, I don’t actually know what I’m trying to say, but maybe it’s this: show love wherever and whenever; don’t let distance and time hold you back.
the turning of the tides September 2, 2007
It’s September. More symbolically, it’s Labor Day Weekend in the states, which signifies a change. For many, it’s time to go back to school, to return to the daily grind from three glorious months of summer vacation. It’s time to reunite with friends, perhaps to slip back into the most familiar rhythm.
For me, school has yet to start. We don’t begin until late in this fall month, and that blessing allows me to travel just a little bit more. I’ve already been home this summer, and I traveled to Orlando, FL for the LCMS National Youth Gathering way back at the end of July/beginning of August. It seems far away now, just as the rest of the summer does. I am looking forward to my NYC excursion right before school starts. Yarn hopping and musical theatre. How does one resist! I know I can’t.
Still, after that, school starts. School brings us back, but every year we’re changing, every year the young get younger, and the old get older. At least that’s how I see about it. I’m going to be in my fourth year of college. This makes me old! Oh my. Thing is, I don’t know if I ever saw this coming. In some ways, I still feel like that poor little naive freshman who just left her parents for the first time in 18 years. In 18 years, I hadn’t moved too far. In just 3 or 4 more I’ve grown stronger in so many ways. I’ve got life experiences under my belt, and I’ve tested myself and taken on leadership. I still feel lost, though. I suppose it’s good that I don’t know where I’m headed, but every now and then, I just want to know. We’ll see where this year takes me. Hopefully, it’s to a place where I can continue to learn, and by that, I don’t just mean university. 🙂